![]() ![]() What? Uh no, not me, no way no how, that stuff's for scrawny pimply faced dorks who don't get laid. Are you some kind of Dungeons & Dragons nerd? ![]() ![]() Wow Vin, for a musclebound meat-head you're surprisingly good at this role playing game that this movie seems to be loosely based on. +5 damage to your lame magic CGI bullshit. Shit! Okay okay, I’ll block with my Gravely Voice card and invoke my Main Character Invincibility Power card. I block you with a magic enchantment, then I’ll play my “I killed your wife and daughter, muhahahaha, haha” attack card. I defend with my Plot Armor, then stack that with a Flaming Sword attack. Now I’ll attack Vin with my swarm of horrible CGI flies that will not kill him, but will annoy him, slightly! Please ignore the fact I’m covered from head to toe in chunky peanut butter. VIN runs into the EVIL TREE and all the REDSHIRTS are killed by ORCS! Evil witch queen JULIE ENGELBRECHT appears. Now you all run in and get yourselves brutally killed while I stay behind and survive, verily! We’re going to kill evil witch queen Julie Engelbrecht in her giant Tree of Evil because she’s trying to wipe out humanity with piranha flies. VIN DIESEL and his GRUNGE ROCK MOHAWK are hanging out with a group of VIKING LARPERS. ![]()
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